A COWBOY NEEDED A NEW HORSE, SO HE WENT TO A SALES CORRAL. HE ADMIRED A BIG, STRONG, FRIENDLY PALOMINO, & ASKED THE SALESMAN, "HOW MUCH IS THIS NICE HAWSE?" SALESMAN ANSWERED, "THIS POW'FUL, 'BEDIENT, HEALTHY, YOUNG HAWSE IS FER SALE THIS WEEK FER ON'Y $500". COWBOY SAID, "WAL, AH GOTTA

RIDE IT FIRST AFORE AH CUD PAY THAT MUCH". "SHORE, JEST THOW YER SADDLE UP THERE AN' CLIMB ABOARD; BUT FIRST AH GOTTA TELL YUH SOME 'CULIARITIES "BOUT THIS HERE HAWSE'". "ALROT". "THIS HERE HAWSE WAS OWNED AN' TRAINED BY A BAPTIST MINISTER AN' HE OWNY OBEYS CHRISTIAN COMMANDS". COWBOY SAID, "WAL AH DOAN CARE IF THE HAWSE IS A CHRISTIAN, LONG AS HE DOAN START PREACHIN' AT ME".

FIRST COMMAND IS WHEN YOU WANT THE HAWSE TO WALK, YOU GOTTA SAY, "PRAISE THE LORD! NOT GIDDYAP", AN HE WILL WAALK ALONG FRISKILY. AN' WHEN YOU WANT HIM TO RUN A LITTLE FAST, YOU SAY, "PRAISE THE LORD", TWO TIMES,

AN HE WILL CANTER ALONG BRISKLY. AN' WHEN YOU WANT HIM TO GALLOP ALONG REAL FAST, JEST SHOUT, "PRAISE THE LORD!", THREE TIMES; AN' YOU WILL GET THE THRILL OF A LIFETIME.COWBOY SAID, "SHORE AH CAN REMEMBER ALL OF THAT, EASY. ANYTHIN ELSE?" "JEST ONE LAST THING, WHEN YOU WANT THE HAWSE TO STOP, YOU JEST SAY, "AMEN!", NOT "WHOA".

COWBOY SAID, "SHORE, PRAISE THE LORD, AND, AMEN, THAT'S EASY". COWBOY SADDLE THE HORSE, GOT ON, SAID, "GIDDYAP", HORSE DIDN'T MOVE, "I MEAN, PRAISE THE LORD!', HORSE STARTED WALKING FRISKILY. THEN HE SAID, "PRAISE THE LORD, PRAISE THE LORD!" , HORSE STARTED RUNNING BRISKLY; THEN HE SAID, "PRAISE THE LORD!" THREE TIMES, THEN FOUR, 'TIL, THEY WERE FAIRLY FLYING ACROSS THE PRAIRIE. "YEEHAW, YEEHAW!" SHOUTED THE DELIGHTED COWBOY; SUDDENLY HE SAW A TERRIFYING SIGHT, THE HORSE WAS HURTLING STRAIGHT FOR A STEEP CLIFF AT A BREAKNECK SPEED! "WHOA!" HE SHOUTED, HORSE KEPT GOING, "I MEAN, AMEN!, AMEN! AMEN!, AMEN!" SCREECH, THE HORSE SHUDDERED TO A STOP AT THE VERY EDGE OF THE CLIFF, ONE HOOF HANGING OVER. THE COWBOY SHAKING WITH FEAR AND RELIEF, PATTED THE HORSE LOVINGLY & SAID, "GOOD HAWSE, GOOD HAWSE, PRAISE THE LORD…."